Now is the part of this process where it becomes more challenging and I really need help with it, especially remembering that the outcome from this could result in the complete end of this relationship.
I received her voice mail today at 6:17 pm. The problem with a minuscule amount of communication like this is I tend to analyze it like an FBI profiler trying to find clues.
She says this has really been helping her. That’s good, right? I ended up deciding to leave a message with the therapist and post here again, anything to not break into her solo day.
She also said it is giving her clarity… that’s a very neutral thing. I don’t know what to make of that. Clarity about what, you know?
She’s going to bed early to night so I guess she is staying out wherever she ended up. Not knowing that really frightens the heck out of me.
She asked me not to call her because it is helping her to just have “me time.” I want to respect that and feel good about with this, like this isolation isn’t going to end in a total negation of all the effort we’ve put into this relationship in the past few weeks. I think I mentioned that article that discussed the importance of believing in the best in your spouse. Well, sometimes that is very nerve-wracking. No one wants to walk around believing to be blindsided at the end. I often read too much into these things though. Does this sound like just a simple request for more space?
Finally she says she’ll call me on her way back tomorrow… then she adds the word night. I wonder how this affects the us getting together plan tomorrow. The part that feels inconsiderate to me is that now I can’t make any plans if I want to be sure to see her. Will she be back at 5 pm or will it be midnight? Will she to what she said? I keep telling myself she will be considerate though I wonder.
She ends by saying she loves me. I think that is a good sign. Before she left she was emphatic about the fact that she loves, just uncertain if she can handle jump starting our relationship in the way we have.
If she’s felt claustrophobic, it certainly makes sense. We went from hanging out once or twice a week and nightly phone conversations to two weeks of seeing each other pretty much every day (including one week long trip to a non-English speaking foreign country to share a tiny hotel room). If she just needs space, she just needs space.
But am I setting myself up to have a horrible surprise tomorrow by accepting this? Should I contact her once for reassurance or do as she asks and let it ride till tomorrow? So I turn to you, few readers who have glanced at this page since its inception this morning. If this is a signpost, where does it seem to be pointing? What do you think?