With less than three hours left in the day, I still have not heard from L. The day went smoothly and I had no difficulty resisting the urge to call until a few minutes ago. Now all that feels like it has changed. The logistics of the situation simply make it very hard to believe that if I haven’t heard from her yet that I will today. I want to believe that this will be alright though if she is going to ignore what she said to me about seeing me today, how can I?
This isn’t the first time that such a thing has happened though yesterday really gave me hope. In a moment of panic I called her once, just a few minutes ago, and said something to the effect of, “I’m sorry for interrupting your alone time. I’m just concerned since we were supposed to see each other today. Can you please call me back or send me a message to let me know what is going on?” I’m going to try so hard to limit it to that one message. With all of this fear though, it is going to be a challenge.
“But I fear I have nothing to give and I have so much to lose here in this lonely place.”
Tags: love, panic weekend, positive thoughts, relationships, silence, therapy, vanishing
Everything Will Be Alright – A Journey To The Center Of The Self 
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